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Calcutta skyline

Calcutta skyline

Calcutta skyline

Calcutta skyline

Calcutta skyline

Calcutta skyline

Calcutta was my introduction to India, my baptism of fire, and from everyone I talked to, definitely diving in at the deep end. One of the poorer and less developed parts of India, this definitely hasn’t been dressed up for business visitors or tourists.

The adventure started when I arrived at Kolkata airport around 1am. The airport is pretty much what you expect to find in a third-world country, and was in fact cleaner and more comfortable than the airport in Manila. The passport control was reassuringly bureaucratic, with lots of form filling, stamping, signing, and recording of details in big books.

Like everywhere else in India, the airport was air-conditioned to about 16 degrees. If anyone tells you they’ve been to India and it’s hot, they’re lying. It may be hot in India, but everything here is air-conditioned to the point of being freezing. We walk around in suit jackets all day, the women in sweaters. I thought they kept it cold in Hong Kong, but they’ve got nothing on India.

I met my colleagues off their flight from Frankfurt and we were on our way. Our car arrived, and I got to experience first-hand the mysteries of Indian driving. All the stop lights were red, but that didn’t seem to bother anyone. Our driver never took his foot off the gas the entire journey. A few toots of the horn kept the wandering rickshaws in check, but otherwise the journey was reasonably uneventful.

We finally arrived at the hotel around 3am, and pour ourselves into bed. We were staying at the Hyatt, a 5* oasis surrounded by poverty. Yes, I understand the stark contrasts that this implies, but I console myself by figuring that we’re bringing plenty of jobs to the area – both in the hotel / catering sector as well as in the new jobs our company is creating out here.

Indian traffic

Indian traffic — a sort of mechanical ballet

Delivery van

Delivery van, Indian-style

The next morning was my real introduction to Indian driving. Now daylight, and with much heavier traffic, we once again joined the flow, ignored the red lights, and made our way through town. Occasionally, we passed signs that instructed us to “obey traffic rules.” Whichever ministry in India is guilty of commissioning those signs must be the biggest pork barrel of them all – no one follows rules here!

Once you get over the sheer terror of it – cars coming down the wrong side of the road, dodging cows, bicyclists, pedestrians, rickshaws, and the ubiquitous Hindustan Ambassador taxis that line the road, you come to appreciate the elegant chaos of it all. I can’t work out the rhyme or reason of it, but the whole thing comes off as a kind of mechanical ballet, set to the tune of honking horns.

This much I learned. The horn is indispensable in India. You can replace your wheel with a bicycle tyre. You can replace your hood with cardboard. But if your horn goes, you’re stranded. The soundtrack to driving here is incredible.

Our visit was very successful – we were greeted enthusiastically. I’ve been overwhelmed by the hospitality and kindness of everyone we’ve come across, and I’ve genuinely enjoyed all of the people I’ve met here.

Back to the hotel for dinner, then early to bed. We were up at 4am to catch the 6:30 flight to Hyderabad. More on that in my next post…

Indian cows
Indian cows are everywhere.

 

Indian cows
It’s almost a sport to avoid them on the roads.

 

In actual fact, this post should be entitled the Curious Incident of the Cow in Hyderabad, which is where the incident happened, but the alliteration wouldn’t have been so elegant. So for the purposes of this blog entry, you’ll have to allow me a bit of artistic license.

Yes, that’s right. India is covered in cows. They’re sacred, they’re allowed to roam where they want, and half the fun of driving here is avoiding them.

Cow shit on the windshield
The lucky present that landed right in the centre of my view…

 

So there I am, minding my own business and checking on the cows doing their thing when a truck drives past and sprays cow shit all over our car. I know in Western culture, having a bird crap on you is considered good luck. I’m not sure if that tradition is the same in India in regards to cows, but at the very least I was a little lucky – the windows on the car were closed.

A few last shots from Bangkok during the daylight. I had a room on the top floor of the hotel — seemed a shame to waste the view.

Bangkok skyline

Bangkok skyline

Bangkok skyline

Bangkok skyline, with the Chao Phraya river in the background

I always enjoy staying in hotels in Asia. Great food, good service, and generally speaking, beautiful décor.

I sent my laundry out yesterday. Like the last time I was in Bangkok, it all came back individually shrink-wrapped, with neat little cardboard bowties attached to each of my shirts.

Shirts with cardboard bowties

Hotel laundry, shrink-wrapped and complete with cardboard bowties

I have given up trying to be ecologically-friendly in Asia. There’s no way I can change an entire continent. They like their packaging, they like their plastic, they don’t recycle anything (at least, not that I can tell) – hey, that’s just part of life here.

I also managed to have some great room service. After God knows how many disappoint $25 hamburgers I’ve eaten in my travels across the US and Europe, having a tray of really delicious food sent up is a real treat.

Room service

Room service, Asian-style. Beats a soggy, greasy burger any day.

My virtual golf was not an overwhelming success. It’s tougher work than it looks, and my performance on the course suggests that I might want to reduce my handicap a little before they’ll let me onto the real Old Course.

I’m off to Calcutta this evening – and a new adventure begins!

Sunrise over Bangkok

Sunrise over Bangkok. I’ve got a great view from my hotel room on the 41st floor.

I’m back in Bangkok for the weekend, recharging my batteries after a long week in Manila and before a long week as I begin my cross-India journey.

The timing for my trip to Bangkok is pretty unfortunate. I’m missing the big celebration of Loy Krathong next weekend, which is supposed to be really beautiful. People light candles and send them down the Chaya Praya river, each one send with a wish and a prayer for the future. All the river boats are decorated in lights, and thousands of floating lanterns are launched across the countryside.

I’ve seen the floating lanterns before (in small numbers) and they’re really extraordinary to watch. I would love to have been here for the festival, but alas, it was not to be.

Still, I enjoy Bangkok. We went out for dinner last night at Ruen Mallika, my favourite Thai restaurant anywhere in the world (and in my mind, the best Thai food in Bangkok). They specialize in royal Thai cuisine – traditionally reserved for royalty because of the complexity of the preparation and the cost of the ingredients. Today, it’s available to schmucks like me as well — at a price, of course.

Otherwise, yesterday was a lazy day. We’re next door to a shopping mall, so I spent time browsing the English-language bookshop and bought myself a few books. I spent the afternoon lazing around the pool and trying to get a little sun.

Today, I’m off for 18 holes of virtual golf – they’ve got a virtual golf centre downtown where you can play all of the most famous courses in the world, in air conditioned comfort, without any of the hassle of walking between holes or searching in the woods for your ball. I think I’ll try to play the St Andrews Old Course, if only to say I have. Tiger Woods, eat your heart out.

After a round of golf, I’ve got a massage booked for the afternoon. I’ve spent the morning curled up in bed with the Sunday paper and a good cup of coffee. So a nice, relaxing Sunday.

Jeepney

A local Jeepney

Anthony Bourdain was right. The Filipinos certainly know a thing or two
about how to cook a pig. We went out for a traditional Filipino meal last
night, and ate just about every part of the pig – ears, trotters, loin,
belly – all of it delicious. I’m not sure that it’s terribly healthy (and
judging from the size of most of the Filipinos I’ve come across, not
particularly low-calorie, either), but it certainly is tasty.

We’ve managed to avoid the flood waters – in fact, there isn’t any
evidence of flooding at all where we are. No, the big excitement here is
what happened in the shopping mall across the street.

We’re staying in Makati, which is the upscale business district in Manila.
Across the street is the Greenbelt mall, a collection of all the big
designer brands and jewelers. Sure enough, on Sunday night there was an
armed robbery of the Rolex shop. The thieves got away with 6m pesos worth
of watches, there was a shoot-out with the police, and one of the robbers
was killed. Needless to say, security here is pretty tight right now.

Our workshops are going well, and we’ve been given a warm welcome by the
team on the ground here. One thing that always surprises me is the pride
that people have in their country – no matter whether they come from
Manila, Bangkok, Calcutta, or Paris, there is a real desire to show off
their city and everything it has to offer. It’s no different here, with
our hosts proudly taking us to see the best of what Manila has to offer,
telling us stories of Filipino culture and traditions, and of course, lots
of food.

My super-hero status continues in the Philippines as it did in Bangkok –
like in Thailand, everyone here is convinced that I look like Tobey
McGuire (who played Spiderman in the movie). There are worse people to be
mistaken for.

We finish up here on Friday, then I’m flying to Bangkok for the weekend
for a few days off before heading to Calcutta on Monday night.